The originalness of original

It's all been done before. It's all been said, heard, read, written...  The over-saturation of information on the internet these days is mind-numbing. It wouldn't be so bad if most of it wasn't completely useless. This blog is a great example. Why are you even wasting your time reading this? I'm writing it for my catharsis, that's my excuse.
Anyway, in my opinion the internet is really only good for 2 things: getting music, and news. I love the medium that brings us this stuff, but I hate the mostly idiotic, banal crap that comprises 90% of human thoughts found here. And now, here's a great article I have been thinking about a lot lately, courtesy of a Facebook friend (I actually get a significant amount of news this way, from non-mainstream media) http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/05/opinion/sunday/the-death-of-the-cyberflaneur.html?_r=1&pagewanted=1&ref=sunday-review)

The Reverse-Advice Column

Every time lately that I want to write a blog, I chicken out. Which doesn't make sense, considering like 2 people read my blogs. But I had an idea for a reverse-advice blog, where I ask the questions, and you leave me advice in the comments. All 2 of you. More like I will make an observation and then ask if you agree or disagree, and for your input on the subject. I mean, I have no idea what the fuck is going on half the time, so who am I to give advice?

So, in my recent foray into singledom, I realized that the most important factor in any relationship is chemistry. If you have enough of that, you can work out (almost) anything else. The problem is, how do you find that out, without sleeping with them? Preferably without having any physical contact? Is it something you just feel immediately? Does it take time? Does it inevitably wear off, or is it possible for it to last forever? And how many people in your dating pool do you have that kind of mutual attraction to? I'd just say that Norfolk lately has begun to feel like too small a fishbowl.

I don't know. Going for anything less just seems like settling. Are my expectations too high? My ex told me that a few times, but, well, he had an ulterior agenda... Obviously I don't mean that attraction is the only thing that matters, and I'm currently single, so don't take that I'm calling myself an "expert." But I think it's pretty damn important. And it's not necessarily about looks. I don't know what it's about. Where does "chemistry" come from? Is it all really just about pheromones and hormones? Electrical impulses? The only time I feel like it makes sense is when I'm analyzing it. Of course, it really doesn't make any sense, and I am only deluding myself. But maybe if I delude myself with science...it will distract me from everything I don't know.

I welcome, especially, differing opinions on the subject. What do you think? Are you far more wise than I when it comes to relationships? Have you been happily married for years? What is your secret? In the meantime, I think I might enjoy being single for a while...I'm getting too old to not know who the hell I am.

Yaaaay, girls!

 I got excited when I saw this...until I saw Scarlett as the Black Widow. Bleh. Also, why doesn't she have any actual superpowers?

And before you get into an argument with me about the integrity of the "back story," I don't know it. I didn't read comics. Why? I don't know, probably cause I'm a girl. Comics suck for girls, they aren't written for us, they are written for boys. Silly little boys. Just making a point.

Oh yeaaahhh.... Sparklehorse, "Painbirds"

Call me a fool...

I put myself out there again.

I will probably get hurt.

This will not be the first time my heart has been broken, and I know it won't be the last. But I don't care. I'll live it out. At least I'll have no regrets.

Sometimes the years seem like they were weeks...

Some things I remember so vividly, while others have just slipped away.

I'm taking better notice now.

It's taken me 32 years to start figuring shit out and feeling like I'm getting the right answers most of the time. It's amazing. Not figuring shit out...because shit sucks. I mean, life just sucks in general. The world is big fucking black hole trying to suck all the life out of you. But you can't let it. It's a choice. I completely believe that. Not that you can control every thing that happens to you, but you can control your reaction to it. And I don't take credit for the way my life has turned out. My life is amazing and and I'm incredibly lucky it turned out that way. The people in my life are to blame.

It's only taken me 30 years to get here, so the next 50 years should be a breeze! I might have to change the name of this blog...(Knocking on wood...)

I've got to admit, it's getting better...

My life is slowly improving, little by little, bit by bit. And it has nothing to do with my financial situation. In fact, that is as shitty as ever. I've just stopped caring. I don't even give a shit about my credit score anymore. Maybe my actual life hasn't really changed much, just how I feel about it.

My attitude has been annoyingly and persistently positive lately. The trip to Boston was definitely a help. I'm actually really lucky it turned out as well as it did. I also owe it to some really nice people living about 500 miles north of here. Unfortunately, I can't afford to take a trip like that every few months, or even every year. I also have only been back to work 1 out of the last 7 days. and was on vacation before that. I'm hoping that once I get back into the routine, my attitude won't slide downhill.

I am suddenly optimistic about my romantic future, as well. I'm not looking for anything, but I have a good feeling. I almost never have a good feeling like that. Things are definitely looking up.


This improvement, however, is taking too long. I don't like waiting. That's what being sick feels like, just sitting around and waiting. All I can hope for is that my body heals quickly, and is finally able to keep up with my mind.